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The World According to Clarkson

The World According to Clarkson

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141901357
Pages: 352
Year: 2005-05-26
Jeremy Clarkson, shares his opinions on just about everything in The World According to Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson has seen rather more of the world than most. He has, as they say, been around a bit. And as a result, he's got one or two things to tell us about how it all works - and being Jeremy Clarkson he's not about to voice them quietly, humbly and without great dollops of humour. In The World According to Clarkson, he reveals why it is that: • Too much science is bad for our health • '70s rock music is nothing to be ashamed of • Hunting foxes while drunk and wearing night-sights is neither big nor clever • We must work harder to get rid of cricket • He liked the Germans (well, sometimes) With a strong dose of common sense that is rarely, if ever, found inside the M25, Clarkson hilariously attacks the pompous, the ridiculous, the absurd and the downright idiotic, whilst also celebrating the eccentric, the clever and the sheer bloody brilliant. Less a manifesto for living and more a road map to modern life, The World According to Clarkson is the funniest book you'll read this year. Don't leave home without it. The World According to Clarkson is a hilarious collection of Jeremy's Sunday Times columns and the first in his The World According to Clarkson series which also includes And Another Thing . . . , For Crying Out Loud! and How Hard Can It Be? Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller and presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Carscan be downloaded on the App Store.
As I Was Saying . . .

As I Was Saying . . .

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405924160
Pages: 352
Year: 2015-10-06
As I Was Saying... is the seventh book in Jeremy Clarkson's best-selling The World According to Clarkson series. *** Crikey, the world according to Clarkson's been a funny old place of late . . . For a while, Jeremy could be found in his normal position as the tallest man on British television but, more recently, he appears to have been usurped by a pretend elephant. But on paper the real Jeremy remains at the helm. That's as it should be. For nearly thirty years he has been fearlessly leading the charge as one the best comic writers in the country. And in 2015, he shows no sign of slowing down. So, whether it's pondering If Jesus might have been better off being born in New Zealand Why reflexive pronoun abuse is the worst thing in the world How Pam Ayres's head trumps Gordon Gecko's underpants Or what a television presenter with time on his hands gets up to Jeremy is still trying to make sense of all the big stuff. Circumstances change. Nothing's forever. But As I Was Saying provides glorious proof that Jeremy remains as funny, puzzled, excitable, outspoken, insightful and thought-provoking as ever. As if you ever doubted it . . . *** Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Is It Really Too Much To Ask?

Is It Really Too Much To Ask?

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405914149
Pages: 480
Year: 2013-09-26
Is It Really Too Much To Ask? is the fifth book in Jeremy Clarkson's bestselling The World According to Clarkson series. Well, someone's got to do it: in a world which simply will not see reason, Jeremy sets off on another quest to beat a path of sense through all the silliness and idiocy. And there's no knowign what might catch Jeremy's eye along the way. It could be: -The merits of Stonehenge as a business model -Why all meetings are a waste of time -The theft of the Queen's cows -One Norwegian man's unique approach to showing his gratitude -Fitting a burglar alarm to a tortoise -Or how Lou Reed was completely wrong about what makes a perfect day Pithy and provocative, this is Clarkson at his best, taking issue with whatever nonsense gets in the way of his search for all that's worth celebrating. Why should we be forced to accept stuff that's a bit rubbish? Shouldn't things work? Why doesn't someone care? I mean, is it really too much to ask? It's a good thing we've still got Jeremy out there, still looking, without fear or favour, for the answers. Jeremy Clarkson becomes the hilarious voice of a nation once more in Is It Really Too Much To Ask?, Volume 5 of The World According To Clarkson, following bestselling titles The World According to Clarkson, And Another Thing, For Crying Out Loud and How Hard Can It Be?. Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time Out Jeremy Clarkson began his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. He now writes for the Sun and the Sunday Times and is the tallest person working in British television.
And Another Thing

And Another Thing

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141901403
Pages: 352
Year: 2007-10-04
In And Another Thing... the outspoken and outrageous presenter Jeremy Clarkson, shares his opinions on just about everything. Jeremy Clarkson finds the world such a perplexing place that he wrote a bestselling book about it. Yet, despite the appearance of The World According to Clarkson, things - amazingly - haven't improved. Not being someone to give up easily, however, he's decided to have another go. In And Another Thing... the king of the exasperated quip discovers that: • Bombing North Carolina is bad for Yorkshire • We can look forward to exploding at the age of 62 • Russians look bad in Speedos. But not as bad as we do • Wasps are the highest form of life Thigh-slappingly funny and in your face, Jeremy Clarkson bursts the pointless little bubbles of the idiots while celebrating the special, the unique and the sheer bloody brilliant... And Another Thing... is a hilarious collection of Jeremy's Sunday Times columns and the second in hisThe World According to Clarkson series which also includes The World According to Clarkson, For Crying Out Loud! and How Hard Can It Be? Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
How Hard Can It Be?

How Hard Can It Be?

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141960256
Pages: 352
Year: 2010-09-30
How Hard Can it Be? is the fourth hilarious volume in Jeremy Clarkson's The World According to Clarkson series. How hard can it be... To build a power station without upsetting the eco-mentalists? To seek world domination if you've been hit the ugly stick? For the Met Office to get yesterday's weather right? In volume four of The World According to Clarkson, Jeremy Clarkson pours scorn on the nonsensical, the dumb, the idiotic and the plain foolish in his continuing quest to discover where exactly we've all gone wrong. Along the way he ponders: • Whether conquering France might solve the immigration problem • What happened when you ignore proper warning labels • What would happen if we turned the internet off Often controversial, frequently scathing but always funnier than James May, Jeremy Clarkson shows us how we could so easily make the world a better place. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
Driven to Distraction

Driven to Distraction

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141946288
Pages: 480
Year: 2009-10-01
Jeremy Clarkson is once more Driven to Distraction. Brace yourself. Clarkson's back. And he'd like to tell you what he thinks about some of the most awe-inspiring, earth-shatteringly fast and jaw-droppingly cool cars in the world (oh, and a few irredeemable disasters...). Or he would if he could just get one or two things off his chest first. Matters such as: • The prospect of having Terry Wogan as president • Why you'll never see a woman driving a Lexus • The unforeseen consequences of inadequate birth control • Why everyone should spend a weekend with a digger Driven to Distraction is Jeremy Clarkson at full throttle. So buckle up, sit tight and enjoy the ride. You're in for a hell of a lot of laughs. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
Born to be Riled

Born to be Riled

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141901349
Pages: 576
Year: 2007-01-25
Born to be Riled is a collection of hilarious vintage journalism from Jeremy Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson, it has to said, sometimes finds the world a maddening place. And nowhere more so than from behind the wheel of a car, where you can see any number of people acting like lunatics while in control (or not) of a ton of metal. In this collection of classic columns, first published in 1999, Jeremy takes a look at the world through his windscreen, shakes his head at what he sees - and then puts the boot in. Among other things, he explains: • Why Surrey is worse than Wales • How crossing your legs in America can lead to arrest • The reason cable TV salesmen must be punched • That divorce can be blamed on the birth of Jesus Raving politicians, pointless celebrities, ridiculous 'personalities' and the Germans all get it in the neck, together with the stupid, the daft and the ludicrous, in a tour de force of comic writing guaranteed to have Jeremy's postman wheezing under sackfuls of letters from the easily offended. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
Round the Bend

Round the Bend

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0718158423
Pages: 432
Year: 2011-10-13
Jeremy Clarkson gets really riled in Round the Bend What's it like to drive a car that's actively trying to kill you? This and many other burning questions trouble Jeremy Clarkson as he sets out to explore the world from the safety of four wheels. Avoiding the legions of power-crazed traffic wombles attempting to block highway and byway, he: • Shows how the world of performance cars may be likened to Battersea Dogs' Home • Reveals why St Moritz may be the most bonkers town in all of the world • Reminds us that Switzerland is so afraid of snow that any flakes falling on the road are immediately arrested • Argues that washing a car is a waste of time Funny, globe-trotting, irreverent and sometimes downright rude, Round the Bend is packed with curious and fascinating but otherwise hopelessly useless stories and facts about everything under the sun (and just occasionally cars). It's Jeremy Clarkson at his brilliant best. Round the Bend is a collection of Jeremy's motoring journalism from his column in the Sunday Times. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
If You’d Just Let Me Finish

If You’d Just Let Me Finish

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405939060
Pages: 208
Year: 2018-10-18
Clarkson is back with a brand new book of hilarious stories and observations about our gone-wrong world. ___________ In November 2016 we woke up to the news that the forthright presenter of a popular television programme had become the most powerful man on the planet. His name, sadly, was not Jeremy Clarkson, but we might not have been any more surprised if it had been. Because the world seems to have taken a decidedly odd turn since Jeremy last reflected on the state of things between the covers of a book. But who better than JC to help us navigate our way through the mess? And while he's being trying to make sense of it all he's discovered one or two things along the way, including - The disabling effects of being vegan - How Blackpool might be improved by drilling a hole through it - The problem with meditation - A perfect location for rebuilding Palmyra - Why Tom Cruise can worship lizards if he wants to It's all been a bit unsettling. But don't worry. If You'd Just Let Me Finish is Clarkson at his best. He may be as bemused, exasperated, amused and surprised as the rest of us, but in a world gone crazy, thank God someone has still got his head screwed on ... Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant...laugh-out-loud' - Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny...will have you in stiches' - Time Out 'Very funny...I cracked up laughing on the tube' - Evening Standard
Don't Stop Me Now

Don't Stop Me Now

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141918322
Pages: 352
Year: 2008-10-02
Jeremy Clarkson puts the pedal to the floor in Don't Stop Me Now; a collection of his Sunday Times motoring journalism. There's more to life than cars. Jeremy Clarkson knows this. There is, after all, a whole world out there just waiting to be discovered. So, before he gets on to torque steer and active suspension, he takes time out to consider: • The madness of Galapagos tortoises • The similarities between Jeremy Paxman and AC/DC's bass guitarist • The problems and perils of being English • God's dumbest creation Then there are the cars: whether it's the poxiest little runabout or an exotic, firebreathing supercar, no one does cars like Clarkson. Unmoved by mechanics' claims and unimpressed by press junkets, he approaches anything on four wheels without fear or favour. What emerges from the ashes is rarely pretty. But always very, very funny. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Michael Joseph
ISBN: 0718180216
Pages: 512
Year: 2014-09-25
No one writes about cars like Jeremy Clarkson. Jeremy appreciates the more important things in life. Don't worry, we'll get to the cars. Eventually. But first we should consider: - The case for invading France - The overwhelming appeal of a nice sit-down - The inconvenience of gin and tonic - Why clothes are no better than ice cream - Spot-welding with the Duchess of Kent - And why Denmark is the best place in the world Armed with conviction, curiosity, enthusiasm and a stout pair of trousers, Jeremy hurtles around the world in search of answers to life's puzzles.
Can I Speak to Someone in Charge?

Can I Speak to Someone in Charge?

Author: Emily Clarkson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1471156915
Pages: 288
Year: 2017-07-13
‘JUST IMAGINE IF WE, THE NORMAL GIRLS, STOOD UNITED AS AN ENORMOUS, HYSTERICAL AND PROUD ARMY. WE WOULD BE UNSTOPPABLE.’ ‘A fresh, modern take on feminism and life from one of the most compelling voices of her generation’ JANE MOORE ‘A stirring call to action’ KATIE SPICER Written with gumption, fearlessness and sharp wit, Can I Speak to Someone in Charge? is a window into the ridiculous ideologies and the absurd expectations that shape the lives of modern women. In a series of open letters, Emily Clarkson addresses all manner of subjects, from body hair to Facebook friends to the perils of wearing Lycra. She unpicks the validity of notions such as ‘the thigh gap’; questions the quotidian scrutiny by the media; ponders the etymology of the term ‘plus size’ and considers our unshakeable obsession with dieting, while wondering why some of us are still crying in changing rooms. Full of vital life lessons, outrageous confessions and poignant reflections, Can I Speak to Someone in Charge? is a love letter to women everywhere; reminding us that being strong, being kind and being yourself is really what ‘normal’ should be. ‘Being asked to write a book was probably the best thing that’s happened to me – up until that point I was gravely concerned that my mum was the only person reading my blog. I hope this book will speak to a range of women, and men actually, I hope it will make people laugh, but more importantly I hope it will open people's eyes to the fact that we've got a lot to do if we want to make growing up in a good and kind world a possibility for our daughters.’ Emily Clarkson
For Crying Out Loud

For Crying Out Loud

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141923725
Pages: 352
Year: 2009-05-14
Jeremy Clarkson, shares his opinions on just about everything in For Crying Out Loud. The publication of The World According to Clarkson in 2004 launched a multi-million copy bestselling phenomenon. But to no avail. Jeremy's one man war on crimes against common sense has not yet been won. And out hero's still scratching his head at the madness of it all. But it's not all bad. He's learnt a little along the way, including: • Why binge drinking is good for you • The worst word in the English language • The remarkable secret of eternal youth • The problem with America • And how to dispose of a seal For anyone who's been driven to wonder just what is the matter with people these days, For Crying Out Loud is the perfect riposte. Surprising, fearless and always laugh-out-loud funny, Clarkson's back. And he's got a point . . . For Crying Out Loud is a hilarious collection of Jeremy's Sunday Times columns and the third in his The World According to Clarkson series which also includes The World According to Clarkson, And Another Thing... and How Hard Can It Be? Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Cars take a back seat as Clarkson grumpily lets rip . . . the man has a point!' Zoo Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
Clarkson on Cars

Clarkson on Cars

Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141916850
Pages: 368
Year: 2007-06-20
Jeremy Clarkson gets under the bonnet in Clarkson on Cars; a collection of his motoring journalism. Jeremy Clarkson has been driving cars, writing about them and occasionally voicing his opinions on the BBC's Top Gear for twenty years. No one in the business is taller. In this collection of classic Clarkson, stretching back to the mid-1980s, he's pulled together the car columns and stories with which he made his name. As coal mines closed and house prices exploded to a soundtrack of men in make-up playing synthesizers, Jeremy was already waxing lyrical on topics as useful and diverse as: • The perils of bicycle ownership • Why Australians - not Brits - need bull bars • Why soon only geriatrics will be driving BMWs • The difficultly of deciding on the best car for your wedding • Why Jesus's dad would have owned a Nissan Bluebird • And why it is that bus lanes cause traffic jams Irreverent, damn funny and offensive to almost everyone, this is writing with its foot to the floor, the brake lines cut and the speed limit smashed to smithereens. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
The Stig

The Stig

Author: Simon du Beaumarche
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1448141079
Pages: 320
Year: 2012-10-25
Who is The Stig? Where did he come from? Why does he never speak? To answer these questions, award-winning biographer Simon du Beaumarche spent a year chasing The Stig and talking to those closest to him, including Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May and leading figures from Formula 1, music, movies and the military. What he discovered is an explosive story of intrigue, influence and a sensational conspiracy that seeks to hide the truth about one of the 21st century’s greatest icons. Get behind the visor of the man, the myth, the driver, the legend, THE STIG. This book contains adult humour and some themes that may be unsuitable for children.